Resolution #4 – no more “should”

I think this is a really important resolution for me and will probably take a lot of work. I’m much too fond of the “shoulds”, I should work harder (a huge, huge issue for me), I should have more friends, I should meditate every day, I should lose a little weight, I should be kinder to my roommate, I should take more time to enjoy things.


For me there’s something about the “should” that lets you off the hook – should seems like an all or nothing kind of deal – an excuse to give up if you don’t have a spotless record so far. Does anyone else feel that way?


more self portraits here

should, originally uploaded by Fred Nerk.

drainpipefrog

a green treefrog in the shower drain at work

drainpipefrog, originally uploaded by Fred Nerk.

resolution #3 – Sparkle!

I guess that I mean take time to wear things that make me smile (which includes all things sparkly). I have all this jewelery I don’t wear much (it is sort of inconvenient days when I’m in the lab), I should take a minute in the morning to put something fun on.


more resolutions here

sparkle, originally uploaded by Fred Nerk.

washcloth

I’m really digging knitting these cotton washcloths (and showering with them) – this one’s for my neice – so sad I can’t find sugar ‘n cream yarn in Oz

washcloth, originally uploaded by Fred Nerk.

layers

here’s my take on “layers” for this week’s inspire me thursday. I’m staring a class in a couple of weeks called “so you think you can’t draw”. I think this is the proof that I actually can’t draw




click for bigger image

sharing

One of my friends from way back in highschool just sent around one of those “answer these 25 questions to get to know your friends” emails. I was a bit surprised that everyone answered the “when did you last cry?” question with a week or two ago – so I challenged them to really get to know their friends by sharing the reason – here’s mine:


On Christmas eve I was dancing around my apartment and cooking up some brownies when a whole pile of songs came up on my i-pod that made me think of an ex who I loved – but wasn’t loved by. I realised that no matter how much I’ve changed since then – no matter how much I was changed by him, he still wouldn’t love me…. annnndd then I googled him (brilliant just brilliant) … and found a recent photo and my heart broke into a thousand pieces and I cried




Edited to add: he didn’t deserve me anyway! – I’m sure I can find someone with the characteristics I admired about him who will appreciate me.

magnetic poem

This week’s inspire me thursday challenge (I’m having serious trouble getting anything posted by Thursday though!).




My magnetic poem is:


she sculpts vivid shimmer
soft whispers soak the world
vast gentle-sad passion




I decided to focus on the second line without the context of the rest of the poem. At first I tried to make this with circling words that would be something a lover would whisper in the dark – but I couldn’t think of enough (sad huh!) so I went with internal critic instead. A lighter color pen might have been good to convey how much these thoughts blend in so you don’t even realize they’re always there.

magneticpoem, originally uploaded by Fred Nerk.

Resolution #2 – hit the beach

I resolve to stop at this limestone outlook over the beach along my cycle to work and write morning pages.
(by-the-by there’s no swimming here because of the poison jellyfish – otherwise I’d be at the beach all the time)

I love this hole, I can’t help but think of the time it must have taken to form, eons of quiet, days and nights passing unregarded. Its a great meditation for morning pages, once all the stuff swirling in my brain is drained onto the page it’s so much easier to feel the quiet in the world.


more resolutons here

rockhole2, originally uploaded by Fred Nerk.

rockhole, originally uploaded by Fred Nerk.